We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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