okay pat passed out under dana's car
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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