i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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