What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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