I want to have your abortion
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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