The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize