when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
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Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
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I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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