Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize