I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
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I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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