i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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