when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize