I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize