i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize