meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
