u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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