Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The best revenge is premature balding
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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