ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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