I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize