Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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