Where are you?
In a non slutty way
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize