pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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