Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize