that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize