Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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