Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
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I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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