The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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