I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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