he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize