Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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