I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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