We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize