Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize