dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
