man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize