im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize