Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize