my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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