He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize