ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize