just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Did you just see the Batmobile???
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize