Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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