I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize