I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize