hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I enjoy the company of your penis
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize