Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize