1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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