I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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