i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize