a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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