I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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