You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Randomize